Got some devastating news today.... Gregs workplace is 'closing down' on March 1st. That means no more health or prescription insurance. We'll probably have to file bancruptsy and sell our home and move to an apartment. Greg will have a diffucult time finding work because of his age and his health. It feels like the whole world is crumbling around me. I think I'm a 'victim soul'. I know how crazy this sounds. I was sexually abused as a baby by my real father, mauled on my face by a dog when I was 6, plastic surgery on my face when I was 9, I was physically and emotionally abused growing up, I've been raped at knife point, homeless, cervical cancer, gallbladder disease, thyroid disease, ovariun tumors, appendix, hepatitus c, gastroparesis and now I am not going to be able to afford any surgery on my stomach or my liver for that matter, I'm going to lose my home and my safe life. I'm only 53 yrs old. It seems like I've had enough misery, fear and disease for 2 life times. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, really. I'm just trying to figure it all out. Maybe this is how my life was 'written out' for me before I was born. I don't know. I just don't know what I'm going to do. I just wish the Lord would say "OK, Cookie, now it's time to come home, no more pain, no more illness and you'll be safe". I'm sorry, Pat, for laying all this on you. You are my only family that I can turn to. No Lois. No Laura. No Mom. No Dad. No friends. How do I end this horrible email? I'm sitting here crying and wanting it to be over. I would never take my life. It's a precious gift given to me by my Creator. I tell him everyday that I'm so tired and I want to go home. But, if it's his will that I remain, I will. I love you, Pat.