The Holy Spirit is really tormenting me now and I can't do anything but try to confess the big ugly facts of my life and hope for mecy.

When I was young, I was molested by a church member. I had suspected he might try it, but I brushed it off and did nothing. Then one night, I was half asleep and willingly let myself be molseted. And the same thing occured several more times.

After that, sexual immorality became a problem for me. I became isolated from people to the point that there was nothing left, and I started to experiment with animals. While I new it was wrong, I thought I had already messed up so bad it didn't matter anymore. I prayed the lord he lift me up out of that life, and he did, for many years until the internet came along. I did everything I could to keep it out of my house and out of my life, but the internet became ubiquitous, and I gradually started having problems with it too. Sooner or later, little "grey" areas started becoming regular parts of my life and alhtough I fought them, they became wedged in my life. I think in 2001, God looked down and didn't like what he saw because he knocked me down hard. I tried oh so hard to live for him under those circumstances. I lost my home, my job, my car, and almost all human contact.

I tried so hard, but felf abandoned and soon fell into sin again, and I've been convicted by the holy spiriet atgain and again, but I keep halling sooner or later. I'm a broken man, a filthy mess. I don't know what to do.